The invisible load women carry | Dr. Kirstie Fleetwood Meade & Amy Bojanowski-Bubb

The invisible load women carry isn't a metaphor. Two psychotherapists on the mental, emotional, and physical weight nobody sees - and what it costs to put it down. This week's pairing: Amy Bojanowski-Bubb (integrative psychotherapist) and Dr Kirstie Fleetwood Meade (chartered counselling psychologist). Two clinicians who are also mothers, on the load women carry, the permission to take up space, and the messy honest work of mothering and working at the same time. About the speakers Amy Bojanowski-Bubb is an integrative psychotherapist and counsellor in private practice in Richmond and Teddington. She qualified with a Post-Graduate Diploma in Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy from the University of Roehampton, and holds a BA(Hons), an MA, and CPCAB Level 2 and 3 qualifications in Counselling Skills and Studies. She is a Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Before private practice she worked clinically at a charity supporting women with mental health difficulties and at a further education college supporting students. Dr Kirstie Fleetwood Meade is a Chartered Counselling Psychologist, Systemic Practitioner, and Executive Coach based in Bristol. She holds a Doctorate in Psychotherapeutic and Counselling Psychology and ten years of NHS experience alongside work in charity and corporate settings. Her practice (The Yogi Psychologist) brings together EMDR, internal family systems (IFS), and a body-mind somatic approach. She also offers psychological resilience training and one-to-one coaching to senior executives. Chapters 0:00 - Intro 3:30 - What "the invisible load" actually means 12:15 - The conditioning to stay small 22:40 - Mother as if you don't have a job, work as if you don't have kids 32:10 - Mom guilt, therapist guilt, and where they come from 40:30 - Modelling rupture and repair instead of empty apologies 47:50 - Hiding motherhood at work: the "blank canvas" problem 54:20 - Silliness as a clinical tool 1:02:00 - What we'd tell our younger mothering selves In this episode Amy and Dr Fleetwood Meade open with the invisible load: the endless mental to-do lists, the emotional containment of friends and family, the weight that sits behind the visible tasks of running a household. Both clinicians have lived it. Both work with women who carry it. The conversation moves into the conditioning that teaches women to take up less space. Dr Fleetwood Meade brings somatic work into the discussion, including the physical antidote of widening your stance, rolling your shoulders back, and noticing how braced your body has become against a load you didn't agree to carry. The second half is for working mothers. The unrealistic pressure to work as if you don't have children and mother as if you don't have a job. Mom guilt and therapist guilt and the way they often come from caring deeply, not from doing badly. Modelling healthy "rupture and repair" by sincerely apologising to your child when you get it wrong, instead of forcing empty apologies that teach nothing. Amy reflects on her own past hesitation to disclose that she was a mother in professional settings, and the vulnerability of being seen as a whole person rather than a "blank canvas" therapist. The closing third is about joy. Silliness as a connection tool. Pretending to be lions on the way to the bath. The lessons children teach their parents about slowing down and noticing trees waving