Why your OCD might not look like OCD | Jessica Hayes & Laura Mole

Why does so much OCD get missed? Jessica Hayes and Laura Mole on the intrusive thoughts nobody talks about, finding a therapist who knows what they're doing, and what recovery actually means. This week's pairing: Jessica Hayes and Laura Mole, two therapists who specialise in OCD, on the intrusive-thoughts side of OCD that gets misdiagnosed for years, what good treatment actually looks like, and why recovery isn't the absence of thoughts. About the speakers Jessica Hayes is a Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist and the founder of ReImagine Therapy in Warrington, fully accredited by the British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP) and a trained EMDR therapist registered with the EMDR Association UK. With both personal and clinical experience of OCD, she has built her practice around perinatal mental health and OCD presentations that have not responded to previous treatment, drawing on CBT, EMDR, and Compassion Focused Therapy, and supervising a team of associate therapists doing the same work. Laura Mole is an Integrative Counsellor and OCD specialist registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP, Adv. Dip Couns), trained in Exposure and Response Prevention, the evidence-based first-line treatment for OCD. Drawing on her own recovery from OCD, she runs Laura Mole Counselling from Finchley and High Barnet in North London, working with adults and teenagers whose OCD has been diagnosed or suspected, and shares the work publicly as @ocdtherapylaura on Instagram. Chapters 0:00 - Intro 2:30 - What OCD actually is (and isn't) 8:00 - Pure-O and intrusive thoughts 14:00 - Why so many people get missed 20:00 - OCD and the neurodivergence overlap 26:00 - Finding a specialist therapist 32:00 - The treatment advice to watch for 38:00 - Why thought-logging backfires 44:00 - ERP, ACT, and ICBT explained 50:00 - The 'ledge': facing the fear without being flooded 56:00 - Reassurance as a compulsion 1:02:00 - What recovery actually means 1:08:00 - How loved ones help (and how they accidentally hurt) 1:14:00 - When researching OCD becomes the OCD 1:18:00 - Resources: OCD UK and the International OCD Foundation In this episode Jessica and Laura open with the most consequential misconception in mental health: that OCD is about handwashing, cleaning, or being neat. The reality is much broader. OCD often shows up as 'Pure-O', intrusive taboo thoughts about harm, sexually inappropriate content, or anything the mind finds most distressing, and people who experience it can spend years in silence because they assume telling a therapist would only confirm their worst fears about themselves. The pairing is honest about how often OCD gets missed. Many people are first identified as autistic or having ADHD when OCD is sitting alongside it, or instead of it, and the wrong label leads to the wrong treatment. They argue that understanding what OCD actually is, including the compulsions you can't see, is the first step out of shame for most people who finally find themselves described accurately. From there the conversation turns to treatment. Finding a specialist is harder than it should be. Many therapists are skilled in other areas without the specific training OCD demands. Jessica and Laura encourage using introductory calls to interview the therapist, not the other way round, and they walk through the evidence-based approaches that actually work: Exposure and Response Prevention, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Inference-based CBT. They are direct about the techniques that sound clinical but quietly reinforce the OCD cycle, including thought logging and 'putting thoughts on trial'. The episode closes on the texture of recovery. The patient as an active partner in designing exposures. The 'ledge' the therapist holds, where you face what frightens you without being flooded. The compulsion that hides in plain sight, reassurance-seeking, and how a kind partner or parent can accidentally become its delivery system. Recovery, the pairing argue, is not silence in your head. It is greater distress tolerance, the rebuilding of trust in your own judgment, and the understanding that an intrusive thought is not an instruction. Both point listeners toward OCD UK and the International OCD Foundation as the most reliable starting points for support. Resources mentioned Jessica Hayes - ReImagine Therapy: https://reimaginetherapy.co.uk/about/ Laura Mole - Laura Mole Counselling: https://www.lauramolecounselling.com/ OCD UK: https://www.ocduk.org/ International OCD Foundation: https://iocdf.org/ MindFriend (the platform): https://mindfriend.com/ MindFriend Pro: https://mindfriendpro.com/ Connect with us Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2OnHUJDQnwcjcp67wLC6O1 Instagram: @mindfriendtalk TikTok: @mindfriend__ #MindFriendTalk #TheOCDNobodySees #OCDAwareness