Why your team won't ask for help (and how to fix it) | Dr. Steph Keay & Dr. Nicola Griffiths

Your team won't ask for help, and the work culture is why. Two specialists in workplace psychology on perfectionism, imposter syndrome, masking, and burnout. This week's pairing: Dr. Nicola Griffiths and Dr. Steph Keay, on why asking for help feels risky at work, what neurodiversity has to do with burnout, and what leaders can actually change. Chapters 0:00 - Intro 2:30 - Why asking for help feels risky 8:00 - Perfectionism and the pressure to look competent 14:00 - Imposter syndrome and the fear of being found out 20:00 - 'I don't want to be a burden' 26:00 - How workplace culture discourages help-seeking 32:00 - Hybrid and remote work: the disconnection problem 39:00 - Neurodiversity at work and the cost of masking 46:00 - When the environment doesn't fit 52:00 - Inclusivity and cognitive strengths 58:00 - The 'what would I say to a friend?' reframe 1:04:00 - A graded hierarchy of support 1:10:00 - Making implicit rules explicit 1:15:00 - Dual-level change: the person and the organisation In this episode Dr. Griffiths and Dr. Keay open with a question most people never say out loud: why is it so hard to ask for help at work? The answer is rarely about the task. It is perfectionism and the pressure to look effortlessly competent. It is imposter syndrome, the fear of being found out, which makes a simple question feel like a confession. It is the worry about being a burden, of adding to a colleague's already full workload. The pairing is clear that these are not personal failings. They are predictable responses to how most workplaces are built. From there the conversation turns to culture. Workplaces quietly discourage help-seeking when leaders model working through the hours without support, or when autonomy is prized so highly that people end up isolated. Hybrid and remote work raises the threshold further by removing the casual, in-person moments where a quick question used to happen. The episode is direct about the leadership behaviours that set the tone, for better or worse. The second half looks at neurodiversity and burnout. Neurodivergent employees often spend significant energy masking their natural traits to fit in, which is mentally and socially draining and a direct route to burnout. Work environments that never make space to talk about different focus patterns or organisational needs trip people up and stall their progress. When teams can name their different cognitive strengths instead, people do better work, not despite their differences but because of them. The episode closes on what to do. Externalise the unfair rule by asking what you would say to a friend in the same position. Build a graded hierarchy of support, starting with one safe person, to teach your brain that asking is not a threat. Make implicit workplace rules explicit so nobody is guessing. And recognise that lasting change is dual-level: it takes individuals building the bravery to ask, and organisations meeting that ask with a response that supports rather than invalidates. Resources mentioned Dr. Nicola Griffiths - https://www.serendipitypsychology.co.uk/our-team/dr-nicola-griffiths/ Dr. Steph Keay - https://drstephkeay.co.uk/ The Core Collective: https://www.instagram.com/the_corecollective MindFriend (the platform): https://mindfriend.com/ MindFriend Pro: https://mindfriendpro.com/ Connect with us Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/2OnHUJDQnwcjcp67wLC6O1 Instagram: @mindfriendtalk #MindFriendTalk #FixYourWorkCulture #WorkplaceBurnout